Do you ever have days when everything is going fantastic and then you run into a negative person? It feels like one minute you are smooth sailing along a calm sea and then all of a sudden loads of tidal waves come pushing you off your relaxing boat and you are swimming in the currents. Why does this occur?
We as people, tend to absorb other people’s energy. We put aside how we are feeling in our own world, to accomodate or fit into someone else’s. This is a habit we need to change. We need to be the master of our emotions, not give them away to others. So, why is someone else’s mood more important than our own? Why do we place a higher level of importance on how others are feeling than on our own self? We do not have to be passive and accomodating as we walk through our life path. We need to try to uplift others, not reduce ourself to a lower level. So how do we stay above the negativity of others?
The answer – personal strength and self-confidence. Believing in ourself, our morales, our opinions, is what matters. This is true joy in life. The feeling of fulfilling our life purpose. Recognizing ourself as a “mighty me” and being a force of nature. We do not have to be filled with grievance from others by devoting how we feel based on their attitudes or assumptions, over our own. We cannot allow others to dictate our happiness, this is entirely upto us as individuals By allowing this to happen, we give away our sense of control of our emotions and we become a slave or a prisoner to others’ emotions and insecurities.
Feeling the way “you” wish to feel, is the best description of how you will when you think enough of yourself to tackle the world on your own terms. When you know your own strength, people will also respect you more for it. Not that you are seeking or needing approval from others to feel happy, but it can also be indirectly rewarding for others to take notice of your inner strength.
Here are some strategies to staying within ourself positively and being in control of our emotions:
- No need to ask people for permission to speak, think or behave. If come in contact with others having a bad day, allow them to do so, but don’t bond yourself into their life story. Try to lift them up, but do not bring yourself down.
- Look directly into the eyes of others when you talk with them. Let them know you are indeed listening to what they have to say, but staying within your personal thoughts. You do not have to step into a negative world of others. Stay within your own positive environment. Almost like standing outside their house of pain, but not going inside.
- Your body and posture should also compliment your self-confidence, positivity and personal strength. Stand tall. Learn to speak confidently and act according to your own positive thoughts.
- Work on your own words. Speak confidently and in a positive way. If necessary, talk slower and with a more deliberate message. Be conscious and aware of what you say in response to negative people. You don’t want to encourage their negativity coming your way as we are trying to divert it.
- Respect your decisions in life. If something directly has an effect on your positivity, deal with it and try to understand how to fix that situation. If it has something to do with how you have been treated or done, simply state outright how you will correct the error and remain confident. For, your happiness should depend on how you feel about your life decisions not dependent upon how others approve of your life decisions. The people you want in your life should be people who want the best for you. Friends are not people who insist that you be other than who you choose to be. For others who wish to bring you down should give you even more reason for them not to be in your life.
- Learn to not victimize yourself if directly angered. Continue to operate from your own personal strength and use your positive skills effectively.
- If you find yourself cornered with someone negative, learn to decline comment or make it a short encounter. When you feel anxious or losing control, step away from the situation until regaining a positive composure. There will be times when others only want to talk and are uninterested in hearing what you have to say. The tactic of refusing to talk with people who won’t hear what you are saying clearly and walking away, is most effective. If they continue, let them know that you will talk with them when they are willing to listen.
- Work at being dispassionate with negative people. Do not lower your worth and happiness to feel what the other person is feeling. Do not be a victim of their circumstances. You can be understanding and listen but learn to protect yourself from attaching yourself to what is not yours. Too often, others want as many people to their negative party as possible. It encourages and enables them to be negative and they feel satisfied that you have joined them on their mission. Do not become a victim at other’s disposal. Send signals of confidence to eliminate others from imagining control over your emotions.
- Do not be afraid to let others know who you are as a person. Stand your ground of the person you wish to be on your terms, and for others to see. There is no need to be fearful of others realizing where you stand, in fact the more truthful you appear to others, the more they respect you. We need to learn to not run our life on the basis of what others will say. Learn to walk freely on your own life path. Be positive, happy and confident, and own it.
- If having to deal directly with a negative situation, be assertive and confident and stay in control. Do not be victimized by other’s incompetence or negativity. Remain positive and direct and follow through with the result you are needing. Believe in yourself and set the record straight to remain in control.
As you practice not allowing others to control your emotions, you will begin to take control of yourself, leading to more fulfillment and happines in your own life. Be enthusiastic about yourself and your abilities. Learn to be free to be who you are and believe in your thoughts, beliefs and emotions. We need to stop being a victim of other’s circumstances and a full participant in our own.
You can get yourself operating from strength by placing total reliance on yourself, and not placing others in positions of authority above you. We are allowing ourselves to be victimized when we place reliance in others to control our life, our emotions, our beliefs. Jump on the non-victim bandwagon in life, and ride in your own cart. Invite others to go for a ride, as long as they don’t complain all the way to your next destination, or if they do so, quickly let them off at the earliest location. Do not compromise your sunshine in life and trade it for another person’s storm.
Be confident and never be afraid to walk in your own shoes. Believe in your emotions, in your worth, in your abilities, but mostly in what matters most to you. Your happiness in life depends upon it. Be happy and continue to live that way. As long as you don’t give away your happiness, nobody will ever be able to take it from you. Live your life on your terms. The decision is completely upto you. Have a happy day!
