Normal aging provides every senior with a few different road sign that we cannot mask. This might include such things as – dryer skin – more fatty tissue in unplanned places – unintended bruising – wrinkles – age spots – and small skin tags. However, one positive thing that aging actually stimulates is our sense of humor.
Following are some examples of the many amusing ways that I believe make our senior years more enjoyable. On behalf of seniors I have used myself as a reference:
(1)As I am am aging I don’t want people to say that I am a sweet old man. I want them to say 0MG what next is that crazy senior going to say or do!
(2) As I age I am becoming more inclined to act in weird ways. This is not because I am aging. It is because I am being bombarded with many strange daily news reports and weird happenings that are becoming part of the “new norm”. When someone asks me why I am behaving strangely, I simply tell them I am trying to adapt to the “new norm”.
(3) Holy mackerel! Now I realize how rich I really am based on the many assets I have accumulated. I have – hair filled with silver- teeth full of gold fillings – kidney’s filled with crystals – a high blood sugar count – lead in my butt – a prostate that has a built in alarm clock to frequently remind me to visit the loo – arteries filled with iron – an incredible supply of natural gas that often likes to publicly announce its views. Wow! I don’t know any younger people that have this mix of wealth!
(4) The keys to aging gracefully are – never wear a wristwatch – never look at a calendar – constantly forget your birthday and your age – pretend you can’t hear or understand what people are saying about you.
(5) As I have aged I have been able to better co-ordinate my many developed skills. Now I can laugh, cough, sneeze, pee and keep my eyes closed while I flush the toilet.
(6) I have reached an age where I have learned to enjoyed becoming a bold explorer. I tend to ignore my brain which tries to tell me what is the right direction to go or the proper thing to say or do. I much prefer to wander and misbehave in frivolous ways. This has enabled me to discover and enjoy the many different confused looks and startled reactions I arouse where ever I venture.
(7) 1 have learned that I have no control over growing old. However, I have also learned that I still have control over how I behave. It is fun to act out silly roles for my many grandchildren and their young friends and make them laugh. However, their parents don’t seem to share my sense of humor and usually ask all the kids to leave the room and go outside and play.
(8) I have been blessed to discover that I am able to continue to talk and act in amusing ways. It no longer bothers me when my mixed audience always seem to remember other appointments and excuse themselves and leave. I then simply continue to enjoy a non-stop and uninterrupted performance with my Blue Kyanite stone. It has no ears and no mouth and I know it will never walk out on me.
(8) Notwithstanding my frequent memory lapses, I am always able to remember to use my magic cell phone to locate my parked car after a late entertaining outing. I simply hit the “open sesame button”. My car always responds by loudly honking at me. This always causes several apartments to light up. Then the residents emerge on their balconies to make rude gestures and censored shouts at me.
(9) My social calender has become very active with my scheduled medical visits.
