Joggers are interesting people. I am just not one of them. In fact, any sport scares me where there is an ambulance waiting at the bottom of the hill. Despite this, I knew that it was a matter of time before my inner peace brought my outer fat to its senses and tried to convert me to jogging.
I was told to learn to walk before I can run. so I took it slow. I went shopping for a pair of running shorts with tummy and thigh control, but decided upon a pink velour warm-up suit to cover my extra bits instead. I then had to find comfortable shoes for arch support which my feet didn’t like much, but I did find pink ones to match my velour outfit. I started walking and instantly felt a cramp in my hip. It was actually my sunglasses protruding in my pink velour pocket.
From where I stood, joggers lived and breathed jogging. They spoke their own language like split times, euphoria, lactice acid and hitting walls. They talked about their blisters, their achilles tendonitis, their foot bursitis, shin splints, pulled leg muscles, back pains and muscle cramps. It didn’t exactly draw me in.
I realized that jogging is very beneficial. Its good for your heart, legs and feet. It’s also very good for the earth. It makes it feel needed. They also said that jogging adds 10 years to your life, which is probably why I felt 10 years older doing it. But, I decided to run like there was a goodlooking guy in front of me and a creepy guy chasing me. Some days I would decide not to go running and considered it resistance training.
After a couple days, I wasn’t certain if I was experiencing a euphoric high or catching the flu. So, I decided to stop in to replenish my carbs and bought some french fries. I found it exhausting trying to feel good about myself. All this inner peace was giving me an appetite.
Not to mention, I was getting what jogger’s call Morton’s Toe. My 2nd toe is longer than my big one and has turned purple and can fall off at any minute. Not sure if that can happen after only a couple of days, but I am guessing that’s what I am feeling. Or possibly a stubbed toe when I tripped over the water hose earlier in the day.
I limped home and realized that I might not be cut out for all this jogging stuff. But I then changed my way of thinking and believed it’s all worth it. So, when the next marathon comes around I will definitely be there participating. I will be the one cheering you joggers on as a volunteer at the water stop. I am a believer!
