Emotions are like waves on the sea or weather in the skies, rising and passing of their own accord. You cannot control your feelings. Thus, you are not responsible for your feelings, only for your response to them. Accept your emotions completely. Let your feelings be what they are. However, do not let them run your life.
In our polite society, we rarely show strong or spontaneous emotions, almost as if we don’t feel them. Yet, most of our lives are driven by emotions – seeking pleasant feelings and avoiding unpleasant ones.
We tend to pursue whatever we hope will make us “feel good”. We seek pleasurable emotions. If your life is a journey, then emotions are the natural weather fronts you pass through (and that pass through you) along the way.
Imagine what your life would be like if you spent much of your time and energy struggling to fix the weather every time it stormed, snowed, rained, was too hot, too cold or grew windy? The weather is as uncontrollable as our emotions.
By accepting your emotions, this is a realistic approach that involves the realization that your feelings are natural, learning from them, letting them pass through you, and getting on with your life.
Thus, negative feelings also have positive lessons for us. We need to remind ourselves to remain open-minded and approach all of our feelings and emotions with kindness and respect. They all appear for a reason.
We need to make friends with our emotions, learn to love them. Of course, we don’t love painful feelings like anxiety sadness or depression. We don’t have to love or even like them, but we do have to “accept“ them, as difficult as that can seem at times.
To accept your emotions is the need to do what you need to do despite what you are feeling. Accept and learn from your feelings, but do not let them run your life. By remaining productive during difficult emotional episodes, you are more likely to improve your emotional state than if you do nothing at all. Feeling and being productive is a huge start to uplifting your emotional state.
To accept your emotions, you have to know them. Sometimes we feel better getting something off our chest, and sometimes we don’t. Thus, there is no right or wrong way of dealing with our emotions as we all handle them differently.
Expressing your feelings can be an act of courage and honesty, that provide valuable feedback to others who may not realize the impact of their words or deeds. Remaining silent out of politeness or discomfort does others and yourself a dis-service. It creates even more inner turmoil, if you self-blame.
Expressing your truth in a respectful way makes it more likely to be heard. That way you have defined your boundaries and expressed your feelings. No need to criticize others. If you get a response, just listen.
The ability to express how you are feeling is an important life skill. Learn to stand up for yourself and to find clear boundaries. Keep in mind that other people do not constantly need to hear about every feeling you have. Find a constructive balance.
Accepting your emotions does not mean you ignore, de-value or pretend they don’t exist. It involves fully acknowledging your feelings, letting them be just as they are, then continuing to act constructively in line with your goals.
You obtain emotional freedom not by alleviating the discomfort or by attaining a permanent pleasurable feeling state, but by taking constructive action, which helps you live a full and meaningful existence free of the domination of your emotions.
It is also important to remember, that all emotions, whether positive or negative, fade over time unless they are re-stimulated.
Love and hate will both pass, so will grief, excitement, sadness, rage, joy and fear. If you want love to last, re-stimulate it. If you want to stay sad, re- stimulate that too. Your feelings will remain if you want them to or go away if you want them to, by doing so is within your own control.
Life is a series of moments. No one feels the same way all of the time. Distraction can be a great friend. There is nobody who is “always“ happy and positive all the time. Those people just have more constant mood distractions and moments that are continually changing to keep uplifting them.
Some of us centre our lives around other peoples feelings. We try to help make them happy, however if we cannot control our “own“ feelings, how can we possibly control others feelings. Truthfully, feeling responsible for another persons emotions is simply unrealistic.
If dealing with a stressful situation, try to do the opposite of what you would expect to do. When our behaviours are not consistent with the emotions we would usually act upon, this is a huge source of emotional freedom since your behaviour is not at the mercy of your emotions.
You now have the tools to accept your emotions consciously, clearly and deliberately. By doing so, you liberate and heighten your attention to a higher level and accept your feelings. Whatever comes your way, it’s truly your own choice how to handle any situation.
For, to be and feel everything you are as you see “truth“, there is no error in your being yourself.
